While Collaborative Divorce can ease the strain and stresses of the divorce process, it may not feel that way to your children. Divorce causes many changes in your life. One of the
biggest changes has to do with co-parenting in two households. 
Since both parents no longer live under the same roof, parenting time schedules must be established through the course of the divorce proceedings. Once established, getting your children into the routine begins. This can be an extremely hard transition for your child.
Here are some steps you can take to make the parenting transition easier for the children.
1. Confirm all drop off and pick up details are in place before you leave the house - This should be standard procedure for you and your ex. Do not haggle over details in front of the kids. The longer the drop off takes, the more anxiety kids feel. A kiss and hug good bye and then the switch. This is the best way to do it. Having the details worked out beforehand also prevents any arguing in front of the kids.
2. Be positive - If your kids are struggling with the idea of being gone, talk to them about how much fun they might have or how they mentioned missing the other parent. Emphasize this is their time to get to see their other parent. It's not unusual for children to feel guilty about leaving a parent to go to the other parent's house. So let them know you have things to do while they are at their other house. Letting them know you've got things to do will help relieve any fears about you being lonely.
3. Keep things pleasant and civil in front of the kids - One of the worst thing you can do is bad mouth your ex-spouse on the way to a drop off and then get in a fight while there. If you know you aren't able to be civil, stay in the car or the house when pick up occurs. Let the kids know you love them, wave and then leave. Remember, the details should have already been worked out so there's no reason to discuss kid business at a drop off. If you are at a place emotionally, where you can say "hi" to your ex and that you hope all of them have a great time that's wonderful. Don't beat yourself up if you're not there yet.
4. Help the children know the schedule - Younger kids will especially need this. They can get confused and anxious about changing houses. Having a calendar or some other visual clue helps a lot. This is helps older kids who may want to make plans with friends. This is a quick and easy way for them to know where they will be, when. Software for color-coded parenting calendars is available and reasonably priced.
5. Give the kids permission to contact you freely - Both parents should feel comfortable with the kids calling whenever they feel like it. Don't get caught up in the "this is MY time with them" war. It's unfair to your children. As a parent, it is up to you not be on the phone with them for hours on end. Just a quick check in is really all that is necessary. Kids want to know you are ok and just want to touch base with you.
6. Once in the other home give the children some time to adjust - Depending on the child, it may take a few minutes or a few hours to relax and feel comfortable about the switch. Let them have some space to settle in and feel comfortable. Don't rush them to do things immediately once you get to your house. They may need some time to get used to being at your house again.
These steps help your children and you. Sharing your children's time is one of the hardest adjustments after divorce. It is important to pay attention and take the time to make these transitions good for everyone. Because the Collaborative Divorce process is designed to reduce hostilities between parents,
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