Collaborative Divorce Law of the Palm Beaches

Collaborative Divorce Process & "Value Added" Benefits

In collaborative divorce process, the largest value is intangible. Because collaborative divorce process resolutions are deeper, the result for the divorcing couple is enhanced parenting abilities, communication and financial skills.The value of these enhancements are difficult to quantify and may not even be apparent to the divorcing spouses.

So try this - on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the worst, all out, constant war between the spouses and 10 being a friendly, respectful relationship, rate where you are now in the areas of communication skills, financial skills and parenting skills. What would a 10 look like in your family? Do you believe that it is possible to move up the scale from where you are now? What is the value to your family when you move up the scale toward a friendly, respectful relationship?

Even if a perfect 10 is not possible, there is value in improving your skills. Even if they are difficult to quantify, the collaborative divorce process has value added benefits for divorcing spouses and their children.

Divorce & The Brain

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals is the main professional group for collaborative practitioners. Its latest newsletter reports on the use of neuroscience in collaboration. Since we were just talking about anxiety, I thought we would continue the brain discussion.

For us non-science folks, the bottom line is that perception, memory and emotions all intertwine in our brains. The brain processes information based on the way our brains intertwined the data and eventually hard-wires us to respond in certain ways. That's why anxiety shuts down our brains.

For those coping with years of addictions or power imbalances, the hardwiring can be strong and these people tend to fall back on familiar coping mechanisms when under stress. For these people, it will take

Can Collaborative Divorce Open Your Mind?

The collaborative divorce process is said to be more effective because the parties are better able to focus on pertinent issues because stress and anxiety are effectively reduced using the collaborative process. It was the second reason we gave for using the collaborative process.

There is no question that divorce is stressful and that anxiety abounds during the process. Because the collaborative divorce process focuses on the future, anxiety over the unknown is lessened. By using the collaborative model, you and your spouse each identify your future needs and work toward a solution that meets as many needs as possible for you both.

Anxiety can lead to a break down in divorce negotiations. In an excellent post on the Harvard Business Publishing

Collaborative Divorce Process:Can Less Really Be More?

Can less be more when you use the collaborative divorce process? Awhile back we gave you 8 reasons to use the collaborative divorce process. Let's explore the first reason: that the Collaborative Divorce Law process is designed to be less time consuming, less expensive and less confrontational than traditional adversarial divorce.

Less time consuming. Florida courts say that a contested divorce should take no more than one year. In many areas of the state, however, it can take even longer than that. A collaborative divorce case definitely spends less time in the court system. No pleadings are filed until agreement is reached in all areas, so the only hearing is an uncontested final hearing. That can usually be scheduled within 30 -45 days from when the petition is filed.

Less expensive. The general rule is that time equals money - the longer a case is in the court system, the more expensive it is. You won't spend money for attorney fees for haggling in court with the collaborative process, but you will pay professional fees to the members of the collaborative team. Lawyers focus on the legal work while therapists/coaches focus on assisting you develop skills and plans for

Celebrity Divorces Hit The News - After Settlement

Two celebrity divorces surfaced this week - after settlements were reached. Morgan Freeman (married 24 years) and John Henry, owner of Boston Red Sox, (married 16 years) both announced divorce settlements. Neither couple made their marital woes public until everything was worked out. Well, almost everything in the case of the Henrys. There is some question about the amount of child support. Still, we have to congratulate both these couples for not exposing their families and us to a re-run of the spectacle that was the Christy Brinkley divorce.

True to what we have said in the past, even the Brinkley divorce was settled. Unfortunately they settled only after the media-blitzed first few days of trial. One can only imagine the attorney fees that were generated in the aborted proceedings, not to mention the human costs. The collaborative divorce process avoids the common pitfalls of litigation for those divorcing couples willing to truly look out for the best interests of their families. Kudos to the Henrys and the Freemans for not litigating their family matters in the public eye.

Collaborative Divorce Law and Business Advice??

Even a collaborative law office is a business, so I read business books and columns on a regular basis. While looking over a marketing book, "The Power of Strategic Synchronicity," by Alan Hickman and Jan H. Hunter, one of their top five marketing myths caught my eye - Competition is at the heart of all successful marketing practices. So much of marketing is based on fear and scarcity.

So you're asking how this is related to collaborative divorce law, right? Well, many times I have seen fear and scarcity principles work to the detriment of a divorcing couple. One or both of them develop a winner take all attitude. Divorce can be scary business. And that is what divorce is - creating a new business relationship. Developing a forward-thinking business relationship is the focus of the collaborative divorce process.

Hickman and Hunter report that the marketing reality today is that collaboration, not competition, is required. Only if one believes in the theory that the "winner takes all," does the myth become reality. Instead, they point out that the most satisfying way to satisfy customers is to develop collaborative relationships. Success is measured by quality and strength of relationships in the new reality. These are the same principles that apply in collaborative divorces.