Collaborative Divorce Law of the Palm Beaches

What is a Four Way Conference?

One of the striking differences in a collaborative divorce case is that the negotiations are conducted in "four way conferences" or "4 Ways" for short. In traditional divorce cases, negotiations are often conducted by the attorneys over the telephone. The attorneys decide what is important and where compromises can be made and then ask for your input.

Collaborative law, by contrast, conducts all the negotiations with the parties present. Because each party is represented by an attorney, there are four people at these settlement conferences. Thus, the name "four way conference."

When you've made the decision to divorce, even collaboratively, there are many issues that need to be dealt with early in the case. These immediate issues are usually the subject of the initial four way - issues like temporary support, living arrangements, temporary time sharing schedules. From there it is up to the divorcing parents to decide the agenda for the subsequent four way conferences.

Negotiating with both parties and their attorneys in person is far different than the typical divorce negotiations. No more attorney calls to "work things out." No more proposed settlements that you had no input into creating other than to say yes or no.  Four way conferences are one of the true differences in a collaborative divorce.

Collaborative Divorce Process - It's Not Mediation

Collaborative Divorce offers a middle ground between mediation and full adversarial litigation. Many people think that collaborative divorce law is really just mediation "dressed up." There are two primary differences between mediation and the collaborative divorce law process.

First, in mediation, the parties meet with one neutral mediator and each advocate their own positions. In the Collaborative Divorce law process, each party is fully and individually represented throughout the process. The entire focus of the collaborative process is to develop a settlement that, as much as possible, meets both parties' needs going forward into the next phase of life.

Second, the mediator cannot give any party advice or assist either of them in advocating a position. Because each party in a collaborative divorce is represented by an attorney throughout the process, spouses who might not be skilled in negotiating or in understanding financial or legal nuances can feel secure, knowing that his or her lawyer is protecting their interests and providing accurate legal information in all phases of the collaborative divorce law process.

Divorce: Does it Have to Be "War of The Roses?"

Many divorces are pitched battles, if not war, involving the parties and their lawyers’ egos, power, and control. In the movie, “War of the Roses” Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner played a once happy (and very good looking) couple who were divorcing and destroying themselves and everything they held dear in the process.

The traditional process of ending marriages allows a husband and wife to act out their unresolved anger and hurt feelings at a marriage gone bad. “She (or he) done me wrong and now I am going to punish or get even” becomes the theme.

The results – a significant waste of money spent on legal and accounting fees, further hurt feelings, and oftentimes agreements or judgments which do not work for the parties. Most importantly, children are placed in the middle of this simmering feud are not well served.

Can there be such a thing as divorce with dignity? Is it possible to have a divorce where the parties do not resort to saying and doing horrible things about a person once loved? The answer to both questions is yes.

There is hope. There is a new and rewarding area of family law practice commonly known as

Collaborative Divorce Law. Begun in the 1990s in Minnesota, the Collaborative Divorce process allows the divorcing parties to re-structure their families and divorce soberly, professionally and with dignity. Children are protected and the primary focus of this process. There is much less if any outside scrutiny of the parties finances and personal lifestyles. There is also many times a significant cost savings to the parties compared with litigation. It is also a very effective process. Nationally 96% of Collaborative Divorce cases settle in this process without need of litigation.

Collaborative Divorce Law uses a neutral mental health professional as a part of the process to guide the parties as well. The mental health professional attends the negotiating sessions and is a member of the collaborative team assisting the team in diffusing emotional issues and keeping the team members on task during the sessions.

The process also uses a neutral financial professional to assist the parties and provide options to both for the division of the marital estate. The mental health and financial professionals are neutral and work for the collaborative process and not as advocates of either party.

Of course, the parties’ attorneys advocate for them but in a much less hostile and anxiety- ridden environment. The attorneys cannot litigate the case so there is much less tendency to “walk away” from the negotiating table. The result is the lawyers work fully toward a settlement. The threat of litigation is removed at the outset because the parties all agree to participate fully in the collaborative process and cannot use their attorneys or the other professionals if the case does not settle. There is a significant financial disincentive to litigate the case.

This process is sane, dignified and is changing the manner divorces occur. If you are in the process of ending a marriage or are already in a divorce, speak to your attorney about whether or not he or she is trained in Collaborative Divorce. There is a local society of professionals dedicated to Collaborative Divorce ;aw, as well as an international association for collaborative professionals.

If you have specific questions feel free to email us at Joe@JConsidineLaw.com or PamelaWynn@gmail.com

Collaborative divorce law is the solution-focused way to end your marriage.

Collaborative Divorce Law- What is It?

Divorces can be expensive. Despite the contested nature of traditional litigation, 98% of cases are resolved without having a judge make the decisions. But these resolutions are often made on the eve of the trial, after substantial amounts of time and money have already been spent preparing for trial.

In the course of trial preparations, the parties engage in an adversarial litigation process that is often intrusive, combative, embarrassing and has a corrosive effect on the families involved.

Collaborative Divorce Law is a thoughtful alternative that can reduce the stress, lower the cost and create agreements that are based on your family's unique circumstances - in an environment that doesn't aggravate the underlying issues causing you to seek a dissolution of your marriage.

The goal is to minimize, if not completely eliminate, the negative economic, social and emotional consequences of protracted litigation to the divorcing spouses and their families.

This is particularly helpful to families with children who will remain families by virtue of those children forever. For couples without children who wish to preserve the extended familial relationships and friendships formed over the course of the marriage, or simply wish to honor the relationship they once had with a spouse, collaborative law offers a more humane alternative to traditional adversarial models.

Collaborative Divorce Law is a specific process of contracting with your spouse, the attorneys, and other professionals involved in divorce litigation to meet the goal of minimizing, if not completely eliminating, the negative emotional and financial consequences of divorce. The attorneys and other professionals are specially trained to work toward that goal with the families they serve during a divorce.