Representing yourself in a Florida divorce doesn't mean you won't need some help. Knowing how to best utilize experts can save your money over the long term. I followed a link on Twitter today and found a list of five divorce experts. (Apologies to the poster; by the time I wrote this I couldn't find it again.) I've
taken the list and expanded it. Here are seven experts you should consider hiring when representing yourself in a Florida divorce or other family law case:
1) Counselor/Therapist- A qualified counselor or therapist
can help you deal with emotions during the divorce process and guide you into
the next chapter in your life.
2) Child Specialist/Parenting Coordinator- A qualified child counselor or social worker can help you sort out parenting issues and/or child development questions. A Parenting Coordinator works with parents to develop co-parenting skills.
3) Life Insurance Agent- An insurance agent can help you learn
about the different types of life insurance policies available for your particular
circumstances during and after the divorce process. An insurance agent can help
you look at securing child support and/or alimony payments with insurance.
4) Mortgage Broker- Knowing how to reduce your monthly
mortgage payments, acquiring the best loan and interest rate are all necessary
information needed for individuals maintaining a home in the future.
5) Certified Public Accountant (CPA)- Calculating your net
worth, explaining tax implications on capital gains, alimony and any other
financial matters are invaluable in the divorce process.
6) Certified Divorce Financial Analyst- These trained financial
professionals can help you with budgeting, organizing your financial future,
assisting in an investment strategy and working with your concerns about the economic
consequences of the equitable distribution process.
7) Lawyer- Even if you are not using an attorney for representation, you should consult a lawyer for legal advice if you do not understand how the law applies to your situation. It is a wise idea to have an attorney review your settlement agreement and final judgment too. Errors in those documents may not be able to be corrected. Even if they can be fixed, the attorneys fees to correct the error can be in the tens of thousands of dollars.
After twenty-one years of marriage, the wife filed a petition for dissolution of marriage. She asked for an unequal distribution because a substantial portion of the parties' assets was derived from gifts and inheritances she received from her family both before and during the marriage. The problem was, the Husband managed the assets so they became co-mingled. Co-mingled assets are considered marital assets in Florida.
The court used the Wife's financial contribution as a basis for an unequal distribution of the marital assets. The court reasoned that, because the wife contributed $2,227,167 of her separate assets to the marriage, while the husband contributed less than $100,000, it would be equitable for the wife to receive more than half of the marital assets. The net effect of the trial court's division was that the wife received approximately 72% of the marital assets, while the husband received about 28% of the marital assets.
On appeal, the court reversed the unequal distribution of assets and liabilities. Here the Wife co-mingled her nonmarital assets so her unequal contribution cannot be used to support an unequal distribution. Continuing a 10 year trend, the appeals court vetoed the unequal distribution of marital assets in Florida.
DIY Divorce welcomes guest blogger, Rosalind Sedacca today. Rosalind's book, How Do I Tell the Kids? is a DIY Divorce recommended resource.
Can a pet be helpful to your children during
a divorce and the transition after? In my opinion, without a doubt! If your
family has one or more pets, let your children have access to them as much as
they desire. There is a great emotional benefit to them and your children are
fortunate that the pets they love can still be in their lives.
If you don’t already have a pet, I recommend
getting one – but only if you are in a position to be responsible to that innocent
animal during this time of additional stress in your life. If a family pet is
out of the question, please consider giving your children time to play with the
pets of friends and family. Take them to petting zoos. Allow them contact with
other life forms that can give them joy at a time when they are likely
experiencing stress and insecurity.
In the United States alone, close to 65%, or
about 71 million households have pets. Statistics from the National Pet Owners
Survey say 39% of these households own at least one dog and 34% one or more cats.
This should come as no surprise since pets can be a blessing in the life of any
human being at any age.
Here are six key benefits a pet provides for
families coping with divorce:
1. Unconditional
Love: It has been proven again and again that pets are a source of support
and unconditional love for children. During and after divorce, when there is so
much instability and insecurity in a child’s life, a beloved pet can be the
bridge to sanity. While much around them may be changing, sweet Fluffy is still
there to love them and be by their side.
2. A
confidant. Children like to talk to their pets. For most children pets are
a trusted friend in which they can confide and share their deepest fears. This
is truly a gift to children and greatly helps with emotional resiliency. Pets
are nonjudgmental. They listen attentively. They “understand,” And they always
love you back. Isn’t that what your children need at a time like this?
3. Security.
Pets have been shown to help children better cope with challenging times within
a family including divorce, illness and death. They feel less alone and
abandoned. The relationship with the pet provides a deep sense of security that
can’t easily be duplicated. In early childhood a stuffed animal often serves
much the same purpose. But kids rarely outgrow their bond with Fluffy, even
when they mature into their teens.
4. Bridge
to adults. Pets can bridge the emotional and communication gap between
adults and children – especially when Mom and Dad are preoccupied with so many
other time-consuming details during and after a divorce. They are a valued part
of the family, a source of calm as the family moves through the storm of
post-divorce transition.
5. Stress
Reduction. Medical studies have shown that pets are just as beneficial for
adults. Walking and talking to your dog or petting your cat can actually lower blood
pressure and cholesterol levels, not to mention overall stress. Pets also are a
great source of laughter and joy, a reminder that there are other aspects of
life that are still wonderful to experience.
6. Best
Friend. Pets also provide unconditional love, nurturing and comfort to
adults who greatly need it as they transition through the grief of divorce.
They’re a best friend when you’re alone and an appreciative ear when you want
to vent or shed tears.
Connecting to other life forms is also a
wonderful way to get a perspective about our place in the universe and our
responsibilities toward others. When life can feel life it’s crashing in around
us it is valuable to remember we share this planet with other beings who depend
on us for love, sustenance and nurturing as well.
* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a
relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How
Do I Tell the Kids … about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing
Your Children -- with Love. For her free articles, blog, valuable
resources on child-centered divorce or
to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.
Note that we don't recommend Dachshunds if you have kids, but my dog Sweetie has been dreaming of having her picture online. Thanks to Rosalind for making Sweetie's dream come true!
A Florida divorce petition was served on you. What do you do now?
Do not panic. Your first step is to do some planning. So if possible, plan to take leave from your job in the coming week so you can devote some planning time to the situation. You will also want to talk with friends and family about the situation, but if you have children do not draw them into the marital conflict. You will want to consult with your spouse about telling the children. If the divorce was a secret, it is about to be "out of the bag." You need the support of friends and family at this time. At the same time, unless your friends are divorce attorneys, do not rely on them for legal advice.
2. Decide if you will represent yourself in your divorce case or if you will hire an attorney. If you want to hire or consult an attorney, start asking for recommendations, then make your telephone calls. Ask questions about the attorney's experience and hire an attorney whose practice is devoted to family law.
If you are a do-it-yourself type, continue researching and reading all you can during the next week. You have almost three weeks to respond, but you must become well informed. Keep notes on what you learn
Representing yourself in a Florida divorce case means that you will have at least one mediation session to try to negotiate a settlement. In addition, informal negotiations with your spouse will be on-going in the divorce process. Here are seven tips to help you prepare for divorce negotiations:
1. Educate yourself on all aspects of Florida Divorce. Read every article and document available. Be sure that the information you are reading is current. And make sure you read both the Florida Statutes on divorce in Chapter 61 and the family court rules. They are written in almost-plain English and guide you through the divorce process.
2. Get information on Florida Divorce. Generic divorce books and information will not help you much because each state has different laws and requirements for divorce. You want information specific to the Florida divorce process and Florida law.
3. Follow the Golden Rule. Treat your spouse like you want to be treated. Behave perfectly. Cooperate with arrangements for children. Do not waste, destroy, or hide assets or property or play other games with your finances. You will be more relaxed and less destructive to your family and your finances when you follow the Golden Rule. Most importantly, the spouse who follows the Golden Rule does better in a divorce trial. Judges like to see divorcing spouses who follow the Golden Rule.
4. Use your new legal knowledge to plan two possible outcomes: your best possible day in court and
