DIY Divorce in Florida

Divorcing Dads - Lessons from Super Bowl's Mike Tomlin

Dads are important to kids - just ask Mike Tomlin, coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. No matter which team you'll be cheering for tomorrow, you have to respect this guy. This week, Tomlin said, "When I am asked for my advice on how to succeed in life, I often answer: dream … dream big." 

Dreams can take us far; they can take our children far. But our children need our help. They need dads who believe in those dreams as strongly as they do, men with the maturity and wisdom to guide them to the place where their dreams are within their grasp. Children need a father like my own, who day by day and year by year lifted me higher and higher, until the possibility of my dreams was well within my reach.

Lest you think, "Yeah right, Mike, but I'm getting divorced," Tomlin is referring to his stepfather. Seems his own dad left and didn't look back. He credits his stepdad with nurturing his dreams and for his ultimate success in life. You can read his full comments here.

We now know how important it is for dads to continue to be involved with their kids after divorce. Social scientists have studied kids of divorce for several decades now. The risks for teen pregnancy, school drop outs, and substance abuse are all increased for children of divorce. The one thing that lowers these risks is having two involved parents.

Even if you don't live with your kids, stay involved in their lives. Pick up the phone, write a note, send a card or email. Your kids need you.

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Florida Divorce & Custody

Florida Divorce: Foreclosure as Means to Revenge

Florida appellate attorney Robin Bresky, from Boca Raton, often handles family law appeals. Today she shares an article from her blog with us:  

One of the most prominent disputes amongst divorcing couples is the division or disposal of the marital home. And, due to the current economic conditions, homes have been almost impossible to sell and many have fallen into foreclosure. A status most would try to avoid; but may not always be the case when resentful behavior plays a factor, and when we act on emotion instead of sound judgment.

After a long term marriage and subsequent divorce, a trial court had awarded title, for purposes of selling a multimillion dollar home, to the former wife. The house had gone into foreclosure during the divorce proceeding, but the former wife had a buyer for the home. The ex-husband appealed the house being put in the wife’s name. He had a right to appeal as the order concerned entitlement to property. Although the former wife had a buyer for the marital home, the former husband was willing to loose the house to foreclosure rather than sell it and divide its worth. The ex- wife could not get a title company to give clear title, based on the pending appeal. Moreover, the buyer she had, pursuant to their contract, was able to walk away from the deal, if clear title was not obtained, after a certain date.

Typically, the appeals process can be lengthy, sometimes lasting even years. Transcripts of the proceeding below must be ordered and presented to the appellate court, all sides must prepare and submit briefs, once the briefing process is completed, and it’s reviewed by a three- judge panel. Understanding the importance of time, our firm successfully motioned the appellate court to expedite the appeal on behalf of the former wife. In a little less than two months a decision was rendered. We had won the appeal and received a per curium affirmance, which means the appellate court upheld the trial court’s order. The house will not be lost to foreclosure and the closing is now set to go forward.

My job as an appellate attorney is to be knowledgeable in black-letter law, the appeals process and in writing effective appellate briefs; and concisely explaining why the appellate court judges should or should not affirm the circuit court’s decision. Seeking my expertise, as an appellate attorney, allowed for the former wife to silence her ex-husband’s attempt to be spiteful and prevented foreclosure of the marital home.

 

Robin Bresky, Law Offices of Robin Bresky

Divorce & Changing Direction In Life: How to Get Lucky

Divorce is more than just doing the legal paperwork. Today's post comes from Dr. Valencia Ray, The Confidence Doc. Dr. Ray teaches people how to navigate life changes with confidence.

Change can be intimidating, even if it is desired.  Whenever there is change, there is also the element of risk or having to face the unknown with its new challenges.  We are witnessing change going on in the world today all around us.  When you add to this the prospect of personal change, such as divorce, the challenges can be even more stressful depending on how you handle stress.

 

I came across an article in February 2009, Oprah Magazine that is entitled “How to Get Lucky”, written by Ben Sherwood.  The article is based on scientific research that backs up the idea that you can influence your own destiny.  As a physician, who also studies cutting edge Neuroscience, the area of science that deals with how our brain and minds work in an interdisciplinary way, I have experienced first-hand this idea of “influencing destiny”. 

 

The article gives the perspective of a cognitive psychologist’s journey from a self-centered introverted professor to becoming more outgoing or extroverted and how much happier she was becoming by making conscious choices to develop her life. It is an article that is practical and worth reading. She even met her husband using her intention and visualization.

 

One point of this article is that a life that is happy and abundant does not happen by luck or chance.  Life is a game of choice, not chance.  The key is to learn how to consciously operate the most powerful supercomputer that is known to man – our own brains and minds! 

 

Once you truly understand that how you think and feel contributes to your experience, and how you can learn to change emotional habits that hold you back, you can change the direction of your life and set sail in the direction of your dreams, instead of living a nightmare. Psychologists are labeling it "predictive encoding."

 

It is a matter of learning how to let go of old programs of thought that limit you, and creating a vision for your life using a variety of tools and processes along with re-educating yourself with the new information from this rapidly expanding and exciting field called Neuroscience. 

Luck is really where preparation meets opportunity.  So, as you deal with the change in your world and in your personal life, consider that what is now even a scientific idea, that “happiness is an inside job” and start to learn new ways of empowering yourself for a new era.

 

Valencia Ray MD

The Confidence Doc

           

www.TheConfidenceDoc.com

Child-Centered Divorce Group Coaching Program

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, has launched a new group coaching program for divorced and divorcing parents. The groups "meets" on a teleconference call so you can attend no matter where you live. The second call is tomorrow. Roz will send you a recording of the first call so you won't miss anything.

The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce

 

Phase 1: Creating a Positive and Successful Child-Centered Divorce

Especially for parents facing, moving through or having recently been divorced.

 

The divorce process can be complex and frustrating enough on its own. When you add innocent children to the mix, you must be extremely careful to safeguard everyone’s physical, emotional and psychological needs.

 

Together we will resolve the day-to-day challenges of divorce. You’ll discover the pitfalls to avoid, the path to peaceful resolution, resources available to you, proven success strategies, stress-reduction tips and more, including:

 

• How to diffuse conflict with your former spouse while maximizing positive communication
• How best to handle questions, depression, tension, arguments and other behaviors from your children
• What to expect from children of different age groups – from toddlers through teens
• How to stay centered and take care of your own emotions and needs during this time of transition
• How best to take advantage of the expertise of attorneys, mediators, therapists and other professionals – while not being “taken” yourself
• How to handle weekly routines, schedules, activities and other responsibilities without loosing your cool
• Co-parenting, single-parenting, custody issues and other complex challenges that come with divorce

 

This program will provide you with solid guidance, solutions and the support you need to help you make the best decisions to prepare yourself and your children for the enormous transition ahead.

 

SPECIAL BONUS!

 

I will also be scheduling an additional Bonus Call with a special Guest Expert who is also

Florida Alimony: This Time the Judge Wins!

Terminating Florida alimony when your former spouse lives with someone but doesn't get married was authorized by the legislature in 2005. In a new case from the 4th District in West Palm Beach, David French, who is now a Circuit Judge in the 15th Judicial Circuit, got a favorable ruling in his quest to terminate alimony awarded to his former wife in 1988.

He's been at it awhile. In 1993 alimony was reduced from $4000 to $3400 per month based on his former wife living with another man. In 2005 he made a request to terminate or reduce alimony based on the new law (and his new job as a judge, even though he had not yet been elected). The former Mrs. French requested an increase in a counter-petition. At the trial, the court found there was a "supportive relationship" as required by Florida Statute 61.14 but denied all requests. Mr. French appealed and got a favorable ruling on January 21, 2009.

Some of the facts supporting a reduction or termination of alimony in this case include:

• The former wife and her man have been together in an intimate relationship since 1990 and lived the first 10 years in the former wife's home
• In 2000 her man built a place in North Carolina and they split their time between the homes until 2004 when she sold her house. In 2005 she bought another Florida place. They both use both homes for mail, the Florida place for driver's licenses, and share household responsibilities.

Terminating Florida alimony when your former spouse lives with someone but doesn't get married was authorized by the legislature in 2005. In a new case from the 4th District in West Palm Beach, David French, who is now a Circuit Judge in the 15th Judicial Circuit, got a favorable ruling in his quest to terminate alimony awarded to his former wife in 1988.

He's been at it awhile. In 1993 alimony was reduced from $4000 to $3400 per month based on his former wife living with another man. In 2005 he made a request to terminate or reduce alimony based on the new law (and his new job as a judge, even though he had not yet been elected). The former Mrs. French requested an increase in a counter-petition. At the trial, the court found there was a "supportive relationship" as required by Florida Statute 61.14 but denied all requests. Mr. French appealed and got a favorable ruling on January 21, 2009.

Some of the facts supporting a reduction or termination of alimony in this case include:

• The former wife and her man have been together in an intimate relationship since 1990 and lived the first 10 years in the former wife's home
• In 2000 her man built a place in North Carolina and they split their time between the homes until 2004 when she sold her house. In 2005 she bought another Florida place. They both use both homes for mail, the Florida place for driver's licenses, and share household responsibilities.