DIY Divorce in Florida

Facing the Holidays When You're Unemployed

Being unemployed can be stressful enough. Add the holiday season and the expectations we put on ourselves and those that come from the kids and it can be a pressure-cooker. Social Worker Suzette Turner-Clark offers some tips on dealing with unemployment and the holidays in this guest post.

If the family's finances have been altered, it may feel as if everyone else is pursuing their traditional activities but them. This pressure to "be normal" may be compounded by strong persuasion from stores and media that provide a romantic vision of the holidays. It is important to help parents recognize that rarely is real life as well orchestrated or positive.

Families must try to determine what is personally realistic for them. Parents may involve their children in planning holiday celebrations that don't cost a lot. Once parents have decided on options for needed changes due to financial concerns, they can present the alternatives to their children.

Children appreciate being given choices, and when they have a voice, are more cooperative. Focusing on religious, cultural or historical aspects of a holiday provides a vital connection to the world. Holidays offer an opportunity to pause and ponder the larger spiritual or personal meaning of events and don't focus on gifts to much.

Maintaining and following certain traditions that don't cost much can be a source of comfort. The routine of familiar past celebrations may provide a sense of security and continuity in life. Have parents consider alternative types of celebrations. It can be helpful to continue features of some past celebrations, perhaps a traditional game of charades, playing in the snow (if there is any available) or holiday cookie decoration.

Social Workers can help parents use the holiday season to cultivate the joys of giving their time and help to others who are in worse shape than themselves. Projects such as collecting warm clothes for needy families or delivering a holiday meal to a sick person are some examples of activities for the family to work on together.

......It will not be long before kids learn that real wealth comes from what is shared rather than from what is owned.

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What About Tiger's Divorce?

With increasing reports that Elin plans to file for divorce from Tiger Woods in the new year, let's take a look at their divorce issues. Foremost on most people's minds is what the effect of his adultery is on the divorce judgment. In no fault states like Florida, the answer is that the adultery will probably not effect the order at all. That's what "no fault" is about. Unless Tiger spent some serious marital money on those women, a divorce in a no fault state like Florida won't even consider the adultery relevant.

Another question on peoples' minds is where she would file for divorce. After all, the Woods' own homes in California, Florida and Sweden. It does seem that they have been residing in Florida but the court would look at which state issued their drivers' licenses, where the kids go to school and doctor and other indications of where they actual live. From all the news accounts, it does seem to be Florida.

And if Florida is the home state for the kids, that means the new relocation law applies and nobody can move the children more than 50 miles without a court order. Yes, the law applies to the Woods children if Florida is their home state.

Of course, all this speculation may be moot. Most celebrities have prenuptial agreements that spell out the terms in case of a split. A court can review the child-related terms of a prenup, but as long as the terms are in the best interest of the children and the child support is according to the guidelines, a court won't be closely scrutinizing the settlement.

One thing is for certain - more will be revealed in the coming year. Probably more than we really want to know. If you want to know more about Florida divorce but don't have money to throw at divorce lawyers like celebrities do, join us for a free teleclass on January 11th to find out if you have what it takes to represent yourself in a Florida divorce.

You Can Overcome Holiday Depression During and After Divorce

 Guest Post by By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

The holiday season can bring up painful memories of happier times, especially if you are divorced and have children. It's important to keep in mind that with the pain comes a choice. You can choose to acknowledge the past for what it was. You can value the good times you might have had together. Then you can choose to move on and let go.

If you don't, you will likely get stuck tormenting yourself with the "shoulds."  We should still be a family today. He should be ashamed of what he's doing to us. She shouldn't be able to have the kids on Christmas Day. I should be over this by now. It should be easier for me to move on - but it isn't. You get the idea.

Use this holiday season as a marker for starting a new mindset for yourself. You are creating a future that will be as positive for you as you allow it to be. Close the door to what was so you can open the door to brighter tomorrows - for yourself and your children. This holiday season and the ones to come can be weeks of great celebration for you if you start planting the seeds in your mind today.

Here are some useful tips for creating a positive mindset for the holidays.

Be your own best friend:
 
Divorce and its related stressors can take its toll on your self-esteem. It's easy to start falling into cycles of despair, fear, anxiety and depression fueled by messages such as "who's going to want me now?" or "how can I cope with all this pressure in my life?" This can certainly compound over the holidays, which add another layer of stress to family life. Use this time to celebrate you and starting a new chapter in your life. Look ahead to reinventing yourself in ways you've always wanted - and acknowledging yourself for assets

Divorcing Parents & Holiday Gifts

In the midst of divorce, with Black Friday approaching, it may be tempting to get some fabulously expensive presents for the kids this year to try to make up for the situation, don't.

• If you blow the budget, you'll literally have to pay later (and longer). Putting more on your credit card is not the solution. It's emotional spending and you can't afford that.

• It's not a good example for your kids. You want them to be able to manage money, so set an example for them to follow.

• No matter how fabulous the gift, it won't make up for the fact that you are getting a divorce. Your kids will see through this attempt and learn to manipulate you.

80% of kids whose parents are divorced want one thing - more time with their parents. So forget the fancy, expensive presents. Stay home on Black Friday and spend time with your kids. That's really what they want.

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Legal Research Help for Do It Yourself Divorce - Compliments of Google

Much of Florida divorce law is made in the appellate court opinions. That makes it difficult for DIYers representing themselves to find out what Florida divorce law really says. Doing legal research is a learned skill and it's expensive.

You see, there two large companies that have pretty much a lock on the legal research market. That means subscriptions to legal research services are ridiculously expensive. Enter Google Scholar.

This latest beta offering from Google lets you do free legal research. So far, it looks pretty good. And the free price certainly beats the pay-per-minute options from Westlaw and Lexis-Nexis that currently exist for DIYers. Your only other option is a trip to the county law library, many of which are no longer updated due to budget cutbacks and the move to digital legal research.

Here are my initial observations from running a few searches from the advanced caselaw mode for Florida divorce cases:

• It hits the big cases on the general divorce topics. The top results in Google Scholar generally seem to correspond to the most cited cases. The most authoritative, Florida Supreme Court opinions, are shown first.

• It shows related cases - known to lawyers by the trade name Shepherd's - under the tab"How Cited." [n.b. to lawyers - Google does not appear to track appellate decisions issued without opinions, only the lower court decision is reported.]

• It seems to be able to take common words and search for the corresponding legal terms. For example, a search for property division returns the equitable distribution cases.

• Although the default settings are not for case law, you can set your own preferences very easily by clicking on the Preferences text link on the Google Scholar search page.

I'll be using Google Scholar alongside my regular legal research program to see how it compares. For now, my initial opinion is that Google Scholar will be very helpful for people representing themselves in Florida divorces.