Parents of children with autism divorce at a reported rate of 80%, although no actual research can be found to document this rate. No doubt there is tremendous marital stress in autism families.
Some couples are
drawn closer together but for others in relationships that are fragile or unstable, a diagnnosis can be “the
last straw.” As Josh Greenfeld
wrote about his child with autism, “There is a strain on any marriage whenever a baby is sick...and we
always have a sick baby.”
The requirements of children with autism and other complex medical problems and special needs are
complex and elusive. Parents of children with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
(ADHD), Learning Disabilities (SLD), Autism, as well as sensory, muscular and developmentally
challenged children face the same marital strain that other parents
do, but they also have the stressors of caring for special needs children.
Finances come into play too. One of the chief causes of divorce is financial problems. A
family with autism can be under financial stress from paying for evaluations and treatments (sometimes on credit which can
make it worse in the long run), job losses, inability to be employed due to child duties, etc.
It may even be necessary to divorce to get state-supported services for the child that are otherwise unaffordable. (In Florida the state ended the "medically needy" Medicaid program effective July 2009.)
When "special needs" parents decide to terminate their marriage, the issues of time sharing, decision-making, custody and
support take on whole new dimensions. The legal concepts used for dealing with those issues don't fit the "special needs" of the autism family.
Legal professionals are largely
ignorant of the unique and sensitive care required to competently address "special needs " children
when formulating parenting plans.