DIY Divorce in Florida

What Does a Remand Mean in Your Divorce Case?

If you are one of the lucky ones and succeed in your appeal, the appeallate court may "remand" your DIY divorce case to the trial court. But what does that really mean? Well, first things first - it means that you do not have an order any longer. Your appeal succeeded and it served to wipe out the order or judgment that was appealed.

The remand is an instruction to the trial court to re-do the trial which led to the order that was overturned on appeal. Similar to a mulligan in golf, you have a chance to present the evidence again. As a practical matter this means that you need to move the case toward trial again. A remand also means that nothing in the original order which was appealed still stands. So there is no child support order to be enforced. There is no alimony order to be enforced. In fact, you may not even be divorced if it was a final judgment disoolving your marriage.

It is important to read the remand order carefully and follow its instructions precisely. This is a good time to seek out unbundled legal services so that your case stays on track.

 

Leading Causes of Divorce

Through the years I've seen many divorcing couples at the end of their marriages. At first I wondered how they got to the point of divorce. After observing divorcing couples for more than two decades now, I have noticed some common characteristics of divorcing couples which leads me to believe that these are the leading causes of divorce:

1. Not keeping the lines of communication open. Good communication requires both the ability to express and listen. Communication skills can be learned. 

2. Thinking that your disagreements will resolve themselves. Deal with your disagreements when they arise or you are likely to havbe some variartion on the same argument for the next fifty years.

3. Making assumptions. This is closely related to communication skills. Do not just assume you know how your partner feels or how s/he would react.

4. Not expressing gratitude. Tell your partner something that you appreciate about her/him on a daily basis.

5. Treating your partner as your enemy. This is serious. Your partner shouldn't EVER feel like your enemy. If there's so much anger that you feel like you are enemies, get help as soon as possible.

6. Blaming your partner for your feelings. You are responsible for your own feelings. Remember that you have the power to change your thinking and your behavior. You don;t have to stay stuck in negative patterns.

Divorce is serious business. If you don't want to fall prey to the leading causes of divorce, pay attention to the warning signals and take action. Don't let discontent fester or you may head to divorce court too.

If you are already seeing the signs for any of these leading causes of divorce, consider a counselor, coach or therapist. Communication is key. If you can master good communication skills, you can save your marriage.

If there isn't money in your budget for on-going individual help, you might want to try a special e-book that some of my counselor and therapist friends put together. All of them have tons of experience helping people save their marriages. They understand that perceptions about your partner are the key to sving your marriage. Their book, Save the Marriage, is a good deal and really does help people who want to save their marriage from the leading causes of divorce.

Default Judgment Entered - What's Next?

A default judgment! How did that happen? You were served with a divorce petition and did not file an answer within 20 days. That is the rule - you have 20 days after you were served to file an answer to a petition for dissolution of marriage in Florida. When you do not file your answer or file any paper on time, the clerk's office can enter a default judgement.

First, it is not much of a "judgment" legally speaking. It is the first step to limiting a defendant's right to defend him/herself. If there are no money issues involved in the divorce, the final hearing can be held without any further notice to the defaulted party. That does not happen often in divorce cases. In family court a default judgment has limited effect due to the two remaining reasons. 

Second, child custody (parenting plans) cannot be decided by default. Third, money issues like child support and alimony require that you be permitted to dispute the amount. So the only time a default will actually cut off your right to participate and receive notice is if there are no child or money issues.

When a default judgment has been entered, a motion to vacate can be filed. Those motions are "liberally" granted. A motion to vcate requires that there was no gross negligence involved in the failure to answer and a defense that you can assert. Again, for family cases like divorce, the terminology does not quite fit. If you have a good reason for not answering, the default judgment will likely be vacated.

It can be confusing when you represent yourself. Get help when you don't know what to do next or how to do something. It's always better to ask first than risk having your do it your divorce case become a do it yourself disaster.

How to Negotiate When You Have Lost Trust

Negotiate - it can be difficult to do when you don't like or trust the other person. When we are in work place situations however, it seems like it is easier to put aside our feelings and get the work done. I recently saw a slide show on this topic and it got me thinking about how it applies in divorce. It's tough to negotiate when you do not trust the other person.

Here are the Top 5 Tips that also apply when you negotiate with someone you do not trust:

1. Keep Emotions to Yourself - do not share your distrust or upset. You need to process your emotions but this is not the time.

2. Avoid Gossip - while it tarnishes your reputation in the workplace, gossip about your ex has bad effects on your children so do  not do it.

3. Pick up the mirror - because the problem starts with both of you. There is not spouse who gets 100% of the blame while the other gets off 100%. Take your share of the responsibility.

4. Draw a bright line - do not allow yourself to be bullied or abused.

5. Detach emotionally - because you are moving into a co-parenting business relationship.

It is not easy to put aside your emotions when you have been betrayed, but in order to successully negotiate, you need to try it. While you may not be perfect at it, keep practicing and it will get easier.

If you need some help detaching from your old behaviors and emotions, join us for the Divorced Parent Telesummit. Our free speaker series helps you be calm, confident and wise as you provide a sense of peace and security to your children.

Over the course of talking to our expert speakers, we discovered some common themes. If you would like to get the Words of Wisdom from the previous Divorced Parent Telesummit, visit www.divorcedparenttelesummit.com and we will send you the excerpts and enroll you in the next speaker series.

 

Divorced Parent Telesummit

I'm hosting the Divorced Parent Telesummit again. The next session begins on March 12th. The Divorced Parent Telesummit is designed to help divorcing and divorced parent who are stressed with all the changes in life and worried about the impact of divorce on thier children. We want to empower divorced parents to be wise and confident and you provide a sense of peace and security to your children.

The DPT is free, so there's no excuse for not getting this valuable information. This session os the Divorced Parent Telesummit includes sessions on

Parenting

Susan Epstein, a parent coach, will help you with some of the most common behavior issues (bedtie, homework and cleaning your room). She has some practical tips on how to deal with these behaviors and stay calm.

Ronae Jull will be joining us to discuss parenting teenagers after divorce. Many parent assume that teens will adjust better than younger kids. Join Ronae, The Hope Coach, and learn more about your teen.

Patrick McMillan will also be featured. Patrick will discuss how to be the best parent you can be after divorce. He will help you examine your habits and move on.

Deesha Philyaw and Mike Thomas will be contnuing their conversation where we left off last session - dating and remarriage. Since most parents end up remarried and Deesha and Mike have both experienced dating and remarriage, we invited them back to tell us more about how to blend families after divorce and remarriage.

Money and Credit

Since finances are such an issue for so many divorced parents, we invited to experts to this Telesummit.

Lisa C. Decker is a Certified Divorce Financial Anakyst. She will help you Make Dolalrs and Sense of money issues before, during and after divorce. Lisa is knowledgeable on all aspects of divorcing your spouse, not your money.

Jeremy Maher is the Credit Repair Doc. If Lisa's preventative strategies come too late for you, Jeremy will educate you about how to repair your credit after divorce. He's got some easy strategies for all of us so that we can get the credit we deserve after divorce.

The Divorced Parent Telesummit starts at 9 pm on March 12th. It runs Monday thorugh Wednesday for two weeks. There will be a free replay for 24 hours, but you will want to get the recordings. This information is so helpful that you will want to refer to it in the future - especially the parenting sessions. If your kids are younger, believe me, they will grow. And this information will helop you in the future. That's why I recommedn the Silver or Gold member levels.